My Mum is very special, she means the world to me,
I’ve known I can rely on her since I was twenty-three;
She took me to a night-club and introduced her friends,
I thought they were all weirdos but soon they made amends,
They introduced so many of my fav’rite little things
I never can repay them for the happiness it brings;
To drag upon a ciggie, to quaff a pint of ale,
To maybe drop some acid (or something on that scale),
To dance until I’m giddy and completely in the mood,
For lots & lots of kissing and some lovely fattening food!
For there’s nothing I like better after tumbling from my bed
Than half a pig in rashers resting on some wholemeal bread
Some lovely piquant brown sauce to finish off the deal,
And about a pint of scalding tea to finish off my meal.
Yes, I really love my mother, she is my special friend
And if you think this poem’s true —
you’re completely ‘round the bend!!